Your have talent—it’s undeniable. It is exciting when it shines through in big moments. But why does doubt creep in and rob you of the self-confidence and self-assuredness necessary to perform your best.
Even people who are at the top of their game, recognized and celebrated for their talent, wrestle with commanding their best when the bright lights shine on them. The truth is we all feel like imposters from time to time.
I started following the work of Amy Cuddy after watching her TED Talk, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. Cuddy found that by holding our body in an expansive, confident, “high-power” pose, even when we don’t feel confident, for as little as two minutes, we set off changes in our body chemistry that can affect our chances for success.
In fact, this power pose increased testosterone (the dominance hormone) by 20% while simultaneously reducing cortisol (the major stress hormone) by 25%. Fresh out of college, while in a sales training program, I was introduced to Charlie Pike. Charlie was not a Harvard research professor. He was a street-smart sales professional.
Charlie’s presentation was brief. Once he got us to confirm that we don’t always feel and perform our best, he passed along a piece of powerful advice. “On those days where you don’t feel your best,” he said, “get in front of a mirror and plant your feet. Take a deep breath and raise your hands in the air. Then enthusiastically say I feel great until you are convinced. Then go to work.”
Charlie practiced and passed along what Amy Cuddy proved. In her new book, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges
“Presence stems from believing in and trusting yourself—your real, honest feelings, values, and abilities. That’s important, because if you don’t trust yourself, how can others trust you?” Everyone has talent and that alone is enough to suggest that talent is not enough.
“Presence isn’t about pretending to be competent; it’s about believing in and revealing the abilities you truly have. It’s about shedding whatever is blocking you from expressing who you are. It’s about tricking yourself into accepting that you are indeed capable.”
You are not going to feel on the top of your game every day and you can’t count on the people around you to be regular source of encouragement and support. Goodness, you are much more likely to receive a regular diet of constructive criticism than developmental feedback. Let’s make sure we all understand what most people mean when they reference constructive criticism—feedback dripping in disappointment sandwiched between a couple faint-hearted compliments.
I mention Cuddy’s work in my book, Tape Breakers, How To Maximize Your Impact With People You Love, Teams You Lead and Causes that Stir Your Heart
Impact requires courageous action—to be our best with the people we love and lead. We never feel 100% every day and we certainly know that adversity and challenges are woven into the fabric of daily life. While we would like to control the circumstances and avoid the inevitable resistance during our race, we can’t.
What we do control is our next move—the next choice. Choose to employ what Charlie Pike practiced and Amy Cuddy proved. By understanding and changing your body language, you will command a most powerful response to the circumstances and resistance that show up like a thief and steal your opportunities for impact.